To celebrate Lily Allen’s uber hit ‘Pussy Palace’ (from album ‘West End Girl’, which she says is a mixture of fact and fiction) it made sense that she would launch her own line of baby blue, polkadot butt plugs. After all, what is a West End Girl without an aesthetic sex toy that fits neatly into her clutch?
For the uninitiated, the song ‘Pussy Palace’ suggests Lily’s partner may have a sex addiction after she walks into his apartment to find an abundance of NSFW items. ‘Duane Reade bag with the handles tied/ Sex toys, butt plugs, lube inside/ Hundreds of Trojans,’ she sings.
The cute, little plugs featured at Lily’s album launch, they’ve appeared on her Instagram Stories, and now they’re available to buy as merch. However, what fans might not realise when they’re bulk buying for their friends and family this Christmas is that they’re not butt plugs at all. They’re USB sticks. Duh!
Not any old USB stick either, a USB stick containing the full track list of West End Girl, including Tennis, Madeline and, of course, Pussy Palace. And they match perfectly with the Miu Miu jacket Lily wore on the album cover. Still a great Christmas present if you ask us. Or a great passive aggressive gift to send to an ex if they also led you to believe it was a dojo.
According to Lily’s website: ‘This product is a novelty USB device intended for data storage only.’ It could be yours for £24.99 and will be released on 19 December (so it’s unclear if it will arrive in time for Christmas, but it will definitely arrive in time for Lily’s tour). The stick is also significantly smaller than your average butt plug, which means it can still be carried around as an accessory, signifying to the wider world that you are a fan of Lily and her music. Think of it as a pocket sized conversation starter.
Regardless, this is your formal warning that the USB stick is not to be used in the bedroom, unless you’re hoping to practice your DJing skills. If a butt plug is what you’re after, fear not, Lily would be more than happy if you bought a real one from a different online retailer and enjoyed it in her honour. She didn’t tell us that, but we feel confident that it’s true.
Nikki Peach is a senior writer at Grazia, working across news, entertainment, features. She has also written for the i, i-D and the New Statesman Media Group and covers all things pop culture for Grazia (treating high and lowbrow with equal respect).
