I thought having celebrities in the Highlands castle would ruin the game – but it only makes it more devious
Trust Stephen Fry to be the one to succinctly sum up The Traitors experience. “Let the horror unfold and let the worst person win,” he mutters to himself, stood at the side of a remote winding road in the Scottish Highlands. Then, a black Range Rover happens to pull up alongside him, actor Celia Imrie and former England rugby prop Joe Marler in the backseat. Thankfully, they’re all headed in the same direction: to the Traitors castle.
This is the first celebrity version of the megahit BBC One game show – in the UK at least; the iteration we know and love was actually the first in the world to feature civilian players, following multiple star-led versions from America to Belgium. The idea of having celebs take over the game ruffled my feathers at first. No, I thought, the success of The Traitors lies in the ordinary people’s desperation to bag up to £120k and willingness to throw each under the bus to keep it all to themselves.
I’ve never been more glad to be wrong. The murderous game is the same, the contestants are more game. In other words, The Celebrity Traitors is even better than the original.
Among the celebrities also arriving at the castle in this opening episode are Alan Carr, Clare Balding, Tom Daley, Kate Garraway, David Olusoga, Nick Mohammed and Jonathan Ross. The line-up is a cut above the rest of the celebrity versions of reality game shows – a testament to just how much The Traitors has become a part of our cultural fabric. It’s hard to imagine Fry agreeing to Celebrity MasterChef…
They pull up to the castle, but before they can unbuckle their seatbelts, the cars drive away and instead they’re taken to a graveyard where the headstones bear the names of each of the 19 celebs. And there’s Claudia Winkleman – the best presenter on TV – sinister in a black cape, the word “celebrities” emblazoned across her back.
Each grave, piled with mud, contains a shield that will protect the six celebrities who find them first from the first murder. Ross is the first to hold his shield aloft, before Marler, Imrie (with the help of Mohammed), comedian Joe Wilkinson (with the help of Marler), Garraway, and singer Charlotte Church also find theirs. The others are left unprotected – unless, of course, they are picked as Traitors.
When it comes to the roundtable, it’s as tense as it ever was. Squeezed around the ginormous furniture, all celebrity status is stripped away. Winkleman chooses Ross, Carr and singer Cat Burns as her Traitors – an inspired choice, especially given the immediate panic that crosses Carr’s face. Before long, he’s almost given himself up and thrown wild accusations around, proving himself one of the most hilarious – and worst – Traitors of all time. In his own words: “I’m worse than [series three’s atrocious Traitor] Linda!”
Even the challenges are better in the celebrity version. While it’s boring to watch Sally from Southampton try her best at physical challenges, it is altogether thrilling to watch Fry and his fellow famouses get stuck in. They have to pull a ginormous wooden Trojan horse up a hill, through some gates and set fire to it. Thanks to Olympian Daley, who runs all the way back to the starting line to find a symbol they had no idea they had to take notice of, they secure a wad of dosh for their eventual prize pot (which will be doled out to the winners’ charity of choice).
The celebrities have entertainment running through their veins. Some do play up to the cameras, but they are mostly utterly delightful – with no public vote they have little to gain from trying to impress us watching at home. Just as they obviously enjoy watching the show, they want to give us a similar – if not better – experience watching them.
The element of having some of the celebrities already knowing one another adds an extra layer of fun, too. Particularly in the case of YouTube prankster Niko Omilana, who thinks his relatively low celebrity status might let him fly under the radar. Not so – even Fry knows who he is, and his online trickery immediately arouses suspicion. Already, their public personalities are being exploited – something we don’t get in the original series.
In true Traitors fashion, the episode ends with a twist – the three Traitors must commit their first murder face-to-face, by touching a lily and transferring its poison onto the face of a Faithful. Carr – reluctant, terrified – is the only one who can get away with touching the face of a fellow player, they decide, and the stage is set for a hilarious yet sofa-grippingly tense cliffhanger. Now, the game is afoot.
‘The Celebrity Traitors’ continues tomorrow at 9pm on BBC One
